Tradition Vs Modernity
I have always considered my family to be a more or less traditional one. Maybe not in the typical Saudi sense of tradition, but in comparison with my aunts' and uncles' families atleast, they were. (ok to those who know me, i study in London where i live without parents i know, but i told u who i'm comparing them to) However, when it comes to marriage, my family is very un-Saudi, if that is a word! lol
I'll give u some examples, if there is an intention of marriage, it is important that the girl gets to know her future husband (and vice versa) beforehand. And I don't mean after the engagement is official. I mean before that, they meet up and talk on the phone and stuff, before deciding upon an engagement. To any non-Arabs or shall I say non-Khaleejis (residence of the Gulf states) reading this, u might be thinking DUUH!! But in Saudi Arabia, this is not the way it goes. U can pray to be lucky enough to talk to ur fiance on the phone before the "milka" (the official signing of the papers which makes u a legally married couple).
For this reason, I was always against the idea of a traditional marriage, to me it was absurd to marry someone (be it on paper or actually moving in together) whom u barely know! This is probably due to my upbringing! HOWEVER, I stumbled upon a blog where the main character IBRAHIM, and his "co-star" IBRAHIM'S MUM, go in search of the perfect wife. At the beginning I thought C'mon man this is ridiculous, u don't even know the girl ur after, ur just after,, well,, ANYONE! As I read on (which I spent all night doing by the way) I LOVED the story. And it made me think, maybe I shouldn't be so judgmental! It is the norm after all. YES, we do have a high rate of divorce in Saudi, but this story ended happily and I hope it stays that way.
It still doesn't make me want to get married in the traditional sense, but I did think it was a nice story, and very educational actually! lol
unfortunately (for those who do not speak Arabic) that is the language it is written in. If u r an Arabic reader though, plz plz visit this blog, and re-live this man's story.
http://ibrahimyat.blogspot.com/
is it Very interesting! Enjoy..
POET
posted by Aoi_Chokoreto @ 5:53 am
9 Comments:
la howwa chapters from 1 -39.. mn elfa'6awa gareeta kella! bs 7abbeet elge99a!
oo lamman tegreenha bte3refeen wsh ga9dy btraditional., ya3ny MARRRA traditional.. elly 7atta ma ye3ref elism.. ana ma ag9ed 5o6ba 6abee3eyya.. (6ab3an 6abee3eyya bennesbaly mo bennesba lelsociety)
POET
hey abdullah..
welcome to the blog :-) would u get to know the girl (by phone or meeting up) fatrat el5o6ba? if not, then i get what u mean,,. but if it is acceptable, then its ok :-)
by the way (KOL A7AD MN T7T LT7T) LOL it is in our genes :-p
ya3ny ana lamman agoollak my family is traditional, i mean that there is no way in hell i could go and tell them, wallah i met this guy and fell inlove, we want to get maried. i mean if for example someone proposes then before getting officially engaged, my family would like us to get to know each other..
but u have to check out this guy's blog, cuz it just makes my family sound as liberal as they come lol.
POET
ABDULLAH:
loooool,, felnehaya ettawfeeg mn rabbi.. no matter how the marriage happens.. bss usually, u need to have more or less similar mentalities in order for it to work..
allah ywaffeg eljamee3 :-)
POET
POET..!!! you're back to blog world.. YAY!!.. i'm gonna read this entire blog then comment.. but just wanted to say hiiiiiiiiiiiiii... and stuff..
You poor kids...
FROGGYYYYY:
hiiiiiiii,, u have to read his blog.. its very strange,, but the last post makes it sweet.. give me ur thoughts when ur done reading it..
HEROINE:
thanx for the comment :-) and welcome to the blog.. we do have so many traditions in Saudi since it is a Big country i guess.. but yeah there r people who are not allowed to talk on the phone untill after the milka..
CAT:
would u care to elaborate? :-)
POET
i know i'd never marry the traditional way. Of course the only for, of "traditional" i'd accept is if mom came to me and told me about a girl. I wouldn't mind getting to know her for a couple of months to see if we fit together and then we'd get engaged.
but probably it would be me telling them i met this girl a while ago through this or that and i love her and i want to marry her :)
i believe my parents would say yes without hesitation.. of course they'd ask to meet the girl 1st then approve.
but then again my dad is lebanese and he met mom when they were working in the hospital together so i'm not your typical saudi family i guess
i'm not saying traditional marriage is bad.. it's just not for me!
allah yeweaffeg aljamee3 lelsa3adh
Bassem i agree completely, i'm not saying tradition is bad,, i just didn't think it still existed as much.. i guess it does.. allah ywaffeg eljamee3 as u said :-) take care
POET
Thanks for pointing to my blog, really it's a pleasure.
beleive me "TAWAKKALO 3LA ALLAH 7AQ ALTAWAKKUL", i used to think like you guys, but not any more.
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